I need your help, Have you ever felt so alone , When you're actually not? Well i feel all the time in real.. And i cant control it. It's so annoying, I'm almost feeling depressed much in real, I've been depressed in weeks now, i felt so down. It's about getting friends, feel that I'm different, Not good enough for getting friends.. I mean, this sound stupid, But I'm like never have anyone to hang whit at my spare time, I've asked people the stupid question ever.. 'How to get friends'.. And I've search everywhere, But i feel like it never helps 'm a guy 14 years old live in Sweden, I'm a rapper, I'm rapping at my spare time when i feel like it, specially when i feel down, am i always taking time to rap american's songs that was made by American rappers, My dream is to be a rapper artist, like eminem. But i know that it's not so interesting for know things about me, But the problem is, Every time when i find some person that reminds of myself, I feel like i cant talk whit the person cuz I'm scared about that the person doesn't like to talk me or something like that you know Sorry for writing huge letters to you, But i can't find any person i can actually have a serious talk whit. I'm praying every night to god about that i wanna get mates to hang whit at my spare time ,have fun whit, And do crazy things whit, like best friends does together.. I've prayed about same thing in 14 days now, Do you think they will come true? I believe in god and Jesus much, Like a real christen do, By the way, I know that ure not god that knows the answers and can tell me, But i holding my fingers crossed every time every night, every day.
My dearest friend,
Yes, many times I have felt very alone even when I am surrounded by many people. I think the kind of loneliness you are experiencing is the same kind I have. It is a loneliness that lives inside of us and it can be very harmful if we don't do anything about it. As many of you know, I suffer depression and feeling sad and lonely is part of my life. However, I do not let this control my life, especially my present and future.
I am sure there is someone out there ready to be your best buddy. I advise you to go out there and be yourself, be genuine, be positive. This is what I do, I dare myself to step out of my comfort zone (shyness) and venture where I know there will be a large group of people. I don't actually go looking for friends, but I put myself in that position. Keeping open to whoever says hi. And believe me, if no one says hi, I'll make the first move. Sometimes I do come out with a friend, sometimes I don't. But I don't let this bring me down.
You are very young, your life is just starting. Knowing that you feel depression worries me very much. Depression is an ugly monster that, if it's not taken care of, can deprive you of good health and happiness. Talk to your parents about your feelings. Ask that they help you find a good therapist to help you through this problem. There is no shame in seeking help from the professionals. I don't like to see depression as a sign of a disturbed or crazy person. Depression is depression and it can be treated. Once you get to talk to someone I bet you will see and feel differently, in a good and better way.
I see that you are a person of faith. God is always with us and will never and I really mean it, never abandon us. When you are feeling the loneliest, just look into your heart and you will see that he is there. Loving you and waiting to listen. God always answers our prayers. Sometimes it may take a while but don't lose faith. He hasn't forgotten about you. Also, keep in mind that God knows what is best for us. He might or may be answering your prayers in the way he thinks is best for you. We not always get exactly what we pray for, not because he doesn't want to answer them, but because he loves us so much that he will answer them in the way he knows will be more beneficial to us.
Your rapping is a big plus in your life. I see that you enjoy it so much. This makes me very happy. You have a plan, a dream. I recommend that you give it 110% to your dream. When I feel the saddest or loneliness, I write. These things help us. They are gifts from God. You'll see that with faith soon, you will find special friends. And if not soon, it's OK, you still have a long life ahead of you and many wonderful things are in store for you. Graduating from school, college, becoming a professional rapper, finding the girl of your dreams, marrying her...etc. And all these will be happening while you'll be meeting new people which for sure some will become good friends.
Continue enjoying your rapping, talk to your parents if your depression continues, attend social gatherings, be genuine, respectful and positive but most of all, never lose faith. Pray and talk to God, he is always there for you.
SuPeR LoVe YoU my dearest Pico <3